Sex and Stress: a cause for #mentalhealthmatters in young people

#IYD is around the corner and the UN has chosen to focus its global campaign on an issue which is often conveniently ignored as its hidden behind doors of ‘fear’, ‘prejudice’ and ‘shame’ and  is made invisible by neglect and disregard. The irony for me is that we waited until the world had its largest generation of young people in history to finally start ‘worrying’ and ‘thinking’ about their mental health issues!

Fact 1: Around 20% of the world's children and adolescents have mental disorders or problems[i]

#MentalHealthMatters highlights something which is not only a major health issue on its own but one which is continually expanding due to its correlation to other areas of health. According to the WHO Fact Sheet ‘Mental disorders are important risk factors for other diseases, as well as unintentional and intentional injury as it increases the risk of getting ill from other diseases such as HIV, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and vice-versa.’[i]

The fact of the matter is that simple liberties taken for granted by adults are harder to understand, to be accessed and enjoyed by young people. They have to work harder, face fierce competition, and be burdened with finding solutions to problems created due to lack of hindsight and greed by the senior citizens. To top it all off they have to ensure the dwindling resources are utilized in a sustainable manner to leave a little something behind for their children. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since procreation was mentioned above, let’s get down to one of the possible causes of stress, anxiety and depression among young people – SEX.

For those conservative ones out there, I’m not insinuating that our 15-24 year olds[i] have brains equivalent to a sewer in the ‘red light district’. The truth is that a myriad of things happen to a person during this time period. Firstly, this is the age when kids hit puberty, hormones start pumping in and the body goes through some re-modeling, leaving the poor adolescent feeling awkward with bits and ends sticking out. Next, some of the most important milestones in their academic lives take place. From facing dreaded high school or A/Ls as we call it over here to, entering a tertiary education institution, both are instances when the young people are stressed with choosing the right options and making the right decisions which will shape their future. With all these things they start getting closer to their peers and finding love.

The International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) defines a rights-based approach to CSE as “to equip young people with the knowledge, skills, attitudes and values they need to determine and enjoy their sexuality – physically and emotionally, individually and in relationships.”[ii] In a time when young people make up a large portion of the global workforce and population, we have to consider the impact their sexual and reproductive health choices will make on the economy, the environment and the general wellbeing and quality of life. We can not be naïve and keep living in a bubble thinking that young people are not sexually active. Times are changing, more and more young people are living away from their homes studying or supporting their families. With freedom comes responsibility and the tools needed for this knowledge! Comprehensive Sexuality Education, let it be in a formal setting or informal setting can provide the young people with knowledge about SRH and improve their rate of accessing health services.

Let’s not forget the gendered nature of mental-health and the hundreds of women and young girls who suffered in stuffy asylums and dark attics (no) thanks to dear Freud, the Pyramid loving Egyptians, the Greeks stooped in their mythology of virgins poisoned to madness by their sad uterus pinning for orgasms and Plato’s Tiameous which attributes ‘all’ women’s diseases to a ‘wandering womb[iii]’. As Kelly Oliver puts it, ‘in the 19^th century ‘Hysteria’ was the name of the disease associated with women...It produced and reproduced stereotypes or ideals of femininity as passive, emotional, irrational and incapable of serious thought or work. In the 20^th century hysteria has been replaced with depression...’ [iv]

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On a totally unrelated note: ‘Mad, Bad and Sad – A History of Women and Mind Doctors’ by Lisa Appignanesi will be an interesting read to anyone who wishes to discover fascinating stories and ideas about the mental health of women in the 18^th and 19^th centuries, up till the present day and the evolution of treatment. Here’s the link to a review: http://jezebel.com/5355606/mad-bad--sad-history-of-female-mental-illness-turns-into-indictment-of-psychotherapy

[1] WHO 10 facts on Mental Health. Fact 1. http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/mental_health/mental_health_facts/en/

[11] WHO 10 facts on Mental Health. Fact 5. http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/mental_health/mental_health_facts/en/index4.html

[111] Issues Brief : Youth Definition.  http://www.un.org/esa/socdev/documents/youth/fact-sheets/youth-definition.pdf

[1V] IPPF. 2011. From Evidence to action: Advocating for comprehensive sexuality education pp3

[V] Women And Hysteria In The History Of Mental Health. Cecilia Tasca, Mariangela Rapetti, Mauro Giovanni Carta, and Bianca Fadda http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3480686/

[1] Sex, Breath, and Force: Sexual Difference in a Post-feminist Era. Ellen Mortensen. ‘The Depressed Sex: Sublimation and Sexual Difference’ by Kelly Oliver. Jan 1, 2006 

http://books.google.lk/books?id=Sl8_wW0d2uAC&pg=PA28&lpg=PA28&dq=plato%27s+dialogues+timaeus+hysteria&source=bl&ots=OPG4XVrhQH&sig=DkF5j8r9sCH9t7CmKnpJ6yMgly8&hl=en&sa=X&ei=P_7DU8HrB8G2uATf_4Fo&ved=0CDQQ6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=hysteria&f=false

A Triste with Makeup

Recently I had the privilege of sneaking into a 'Grooming Session' organised by a LGBTQI organisation, at my organisation. The 'Grooming Session' was the final day of a two day Gender Workshop organised by the same organisation to celebrate Pride Week. I loved the fact that leaders and professionals of the community came forward and spared their time and shared their expertise with a group who do not have access to such information. I missed the earlier session of clothes and body types and colours. But I made it a point to sneak in during the makeup tutorial. Why? Well, because the only makeup I know to apply is eye makeup, a bit of blusher/bronzer and lipstick. Which has served me well so far, but I as of late, whenever I go to a wedding, have felt extremely inadequate in this sad excuse for makeup on my face, in comparison to my friends and the rest of young almost-flawless-beaming-skinned lasses.

Do you really need all these products?

The professional beautician/makeup artist ran through a myriad of make up essentials....which I had to scramble to write down every single number and remember the sequence of application! As I scribbled on I did wonder aloud to my colleague of the actual possibility of me remembering all these and actually doing it...Yes, I who look for the least wrinkled shirt to wear to work every morning, and who can not bother checking for the height of the pleats when wearing saree; to actually spend a good 15 minutes painting my face.

There was also the challenge of finding the correct shade of foundation for my skin. I have a makeup artists nightmare for a face (no i'm not exaggerating, I have been told this by every single makeup artist who has had the herculean task of applying makeup on me). I have three very prominent shades on my face - a dark strip on forehead, light shaded cheeks and a red-ish brown nose. And my chin and jaw have a different shade as well....

My hand looked a bit like this....

Well, with a lot help from the shop assistants and several failed attempts of trying to match the products of foundation to my skin, I finally decided on two shades of foundation sticks. Oh and did anyone know that one stick of foundation will cost you the same price as a pair of shoes! GAH! So yours truly went for the cheaper substitutes. What I found amusing was that the zombie pale faced makeup assistant, insisted I go for lighter shades when I could clearly see that it just would not go with my 'darkness'. Her argument being i'l look dark...eh????
I am dark. I know that. So what? So women wear foundation to get fairer? What happened to the cardinal rule of finding the right shade to "SUIT" your skin? This explains why many of our young women end up looking like they just a paid a visit to the flour mill or suffering from anemia.

End result? Utter disappointment. I couldn't recognize the person starring back at me from the mirror. Ya..the 'flaws' were covered up. But there was no me without those flaws. Every single spot, odd shade, birthmark gave me an identity. If I couldn't recognize myself how would others recognize me? Would they appreciate this 'one-shaded' me? One other thing I realized was, when you wear so much foundation, its akin to wearing a mask. If you blush no one can notice, if you turn red with anger no one can notice. No one can read your subtle facial expressions with all that gunk on your face!

So I decided to embrace my multi-shaded face, and opt only for a bit of powder for 'contouring'. Ya its a fancy makeup term for shaping ones face. Even though I wasted hours selecting and finally applying the stuff AND removing it, it was a life lesson well learnt.

Appreciate your natural flaws....they make you...You.

 

One in a million

One of the million lonely people…

Instructed never to dare to dream….

Dreamed of a thing called ‘love’.

Instructed to stop!

Follow, Obey and never ask questions….

Trust in their wisdom of years….

Believe their truth….

Forget your heart and soul…

Live embittered for their happiness.

One of the million lonely people….

Still one different as the next

Made up of so many growing ups and downs

So many roller coaster rides and learning curves

Enough to make one a bit different from the other one

But never seen as a bit different from one

Constantly likened to one or another  

Trapped behind the shadow of another

The true self never seen or understood.

One of the million lonely people….

A Wasted life

A Life wasted by a set of beliefs

Not one that one really believes and lives for

But scared by the other millions

Scared of a thing called shame

Raised up higher and higher by misconceptions

And fueled to burning ferocity by hatred

One of the million lonely people….

Waiting for the day

To join the rest of the happy people

And be one with all. 

The First Scream

I have always wanted to blog but never had the patience to sit down and actually make one. As of late I keep finding my self without a voice. By nature I am not a person who would stand up, voice my opinions in a forum or argue a point. I have always preferred to jot things down in paper or leave a comment. But as of late this personal inability to stand up and voice my thoughts has left  feeling extremely frustrated, angry, helpless and utterly useless. I dont want to be one of those people who leave this world without doing something worthwhile. I dont want to look back someday and feel like I have been a waste of O2 and energy. I may not be able to speak up verbally but I can do one thing and that is write. Its my medium and comfort zone. This blog is my platform to scream, shout and make my voice heard.

I thought I would start off the first blog post about a book which has left me in awe and reduced me to tears. i have read books which enthralled one so much, you forget to eat, drink and sleep. #Reyna'sProphecy by #RadhikaPhillip is a refreshing novel and I look forward to more stories by this author. The book is published by #HarperCollins which is a first for #SriLanka. When I read the blurb I had a vague feeling it would be one of those books about the conflict, since most Sri Lankan authors have found it hard to move away from this theme. Yes we should talk about it and remember the lives lost, the trauma, the fear and the chaos. But when every other book by a Sri Lankan author has nuances and references to it and creates story lines which revolves around this it becomes a bit tiresome. Maybe it is a way of heeling and to be expected from a country recovering from a decades long war. Nevertheless Reyna's Prophecy was a breath of fresh air. The story is about a young girl in a quest to fulfill a prophecy. I am not going to go into detail but the story and spoil it for you. Let me just say that she transports you to a world which any animal lover may find easy to believe. The characters are dynamic and Philips weaves her story in a way which grips you. What I loved most was the world Philip created. It was so easy to enter it. So close to the real world, by its proximity to our daily lives and so simple in its events and situations. Our pets, the childhood memories, the anxieties of growing up, the family dynamics and the life changing, unexpected disasters/ events and experiences which shape us and are an integral part of us. The book attempts to tell us a lot of things. I could pick up nuances to the gap between the rich and poor in the country. The influence and power the Colombo Elite yield over the country. The lack of sustainable development and conservation of natural resources. The unpreparedness for natural disasters. The way normalcy is perceived by people in a country at war. The idea that nature can nurture and also destroy.